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[savetheweak]

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[savetheweak]

[It's...odd, staying at the cabana. Not because Oda doesn't like it, but because it's nicer than anything he's ever known - and he's happy for Dolph, for that, but it's just so much that he finds himself getting lost. He mostly stays in the small bedroom Dolph has set aside for him, and he's endlessly grateful, especially when his dear friend does think to pop his head in. Oda sits up from where he'd been lounging on the bed, reading a book. He sets it down and tries to smile at Dolph, but of course, the smiles he thinks he's making rarely make it to his face.]

Hey, Dolph. Sure thing.

Here, or Quartz?

[laserhawk]

[ he pauses for a moment before giving a nod, feeling a touch self-conscious. maybe he should call maruki too. maybe they should all be there, but it feels too much like oda's last birthday. when everyone was here.

and there'll be one empty seat. everyone's eyes will be drawn to it.

so. dolph will do it differently. no ghosts at the table. not today. ]

Quartz, just for a while.

[savetheweak]

Quartz.

[Oda repeats it like a grounding phrase. He still spends most nights there, having at least one drink, with an empty seat on either side; untouched whiskey and tomato juice.

[He nods and stands up, grabbing his harness first - he never goes anywhere without his guns.

[After that, he pulls on his jacket, nodding toward Dolph.]

Lead the way, boss.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph glances at the guns for a moment, thoughtful, before he shakes it off. ]

"Boss"?

[savetheweak]

Hm?

[Was that strange to say?]

Well, when it comes to Quartz, you are the boss.

[laserhawk]

True.

[ though he's never been much of a boss. he runs a loose ship. ]

I just never heard you call me that.

[savetheweak]

[Something twitches on Oda's lips, fond.]

I don't think I ever have.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph rubs his neck, self-conscious. ]

I don't think I even feel like a boss.

[savetheweak]

Well... For all the bosses I've had, you don't exactly act like one either.

What else would you like me to call you?

[laserhawk]

What, like a nickname?

[ he's never thought of it before. most of the names he was planned were well . . . derogatory. laserpigeon, laserfuck, god he doesn't miss red in the least.

this is different though, but dolph feels fairly stymied. ]

I dunno. I've never really . . . used them? Plus I'm bad at thinking about names.

[savetheweak]

Bad at thinking about them? What do you mean?

[laserhawk]

Like . . . being creative about it.

It never really came naturally.

[savetheweak]

Well... Odasaku isn't the most creative name, if that helps.

It's relatively common in Japanese to combine given names and surnames like that. Maruki might be Marutaku, or something like that. [Just an example.

[. . .]

It's something Dazai came up with. [He tries to say it casually; his throat sticks.] He'll get pissed if I don't introduce myself to everyone that way.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph huffs. but he's relieved that oda brought himself to bring up dazai. now he doesn't have to walk around eggshells. ]

He did get pissed off at me. Like he wouldn't let me use anything else.

[savetheweak]

[Some short breath leaves him, but it isn't a laugh. He feels weak suddenly, dizzy, but he doesn't show it other than tapping his front shirt pocket to make sure he has his cigarettes.]

It was important to him. Must have been.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph pauses in his walk for a moment, before reaching out to clasp oda by the shoulder. ]

Everything about you was important to him.

[savetheweak]

[Oda stops.

[He stops. If he doesn't keep going, he'll die, but he stops. He stops.

[And his voice is quiet. Hoarse.]

I shouldn't talk about him like he's dead.

I'm the dead one.

[laserhawk]

[ how likely will it be to see dazai again? here, in this deathless place? a place he found no real reprieve? maybe they shouldn't. but at the same time, here they were. purgatorial beings.

so he keeps his hand there. steady. ]

He's not here right now.

You're allowed to mourn that.

[savetheweak]

[Oda? Mourn? Has he ever mourned? At some point, he must have lost his parents, but he doesn't remember. He's taken hundreds of human lives, witnessed the death of all his children, but has he ever mourned? Burning out like a supernova doesn't count. What is Dolph saying? The words sound so foreign.

[He's quiet too long, or at least it feels too long. His body leans into Dolph's touch.]

I've never done that before.

[laserhawk]

[ dolph's no expert either. to him, mourning was perpetual. endless. a part of his being. he mourned what could have been. the people he lost. the regrets.

alex. there'll always be a part that mourns their love. the first. the last. dolph lets out a quiet breath. ]

We'll pour him a glass. And figure it out.

[savetheweak]

[Oda feels the breath the he pulls in through his nose.]

I always do.

[Pour him a glass, figure it out.

[Oda clears his throat a bit.]

Mind if I smoke?

[laserhawk]

Go ahead.

[ second hand smoke is something he's used to. nostalgic. the only difference is alex loved thick cigars. his only luxury in eden. he would joke about it too. ]

[savetheweak]

[Dolph never minds. Oda takes a cigarette out of his pack and lights it up, the first drag as lovely as it always is, laced with something terrible and hollow. He breathes it out, and they keep walking.

[Oda's quiet for a moment, smoking, moving, and then:]

You're Dolph to me. I like your name the way it is.

[laserhawk]

[ a wry chuckle. ]

It's probably the only thing I really remember. Still, it's hard to come up with fun nicknames for a word like "Dolph".

[savetheweak]

[Another quiet few moments. That not-quite-smile tugs at his lips again as he glances his friend's way.]

Anyone ever call you a dolphin before?