[Dazai has always talked about suicide - easily, casually, even flippantly.
[It started feeling different after Odasaku, himself, failed to die.
[He wonders how many times he'd give everything away for the sake of selfish relief. They've been given time - "fortune". He might not have thought he wanted it, only three short months ago.]
What is it? [Odasaku's voice is quiet. He leans down to stub his cigarette out on the ground, then tucks the spent filter back into his pack.]
[ Dazai folds his hands behind his head. The stars are in the sky, the same as ever. The same sky he's ever seen. It's not all that hard at all to sift through his memories, his thoughts and emotions, as they all just come with the dull sense of something being wrong.
There's a slight pause, and whatever he might have originally said is gone, locked away. Instead what he says is, ]
I say that he was looking for "fortune," but it's a bit different. It was something that doesn't exist in any world.
[ As to what that something was, he doesn't seem willing to elaborate any further. ]
... Well, sorry for worrying you. You have to wait at least a couple weeks though, you know? I've let myself get kidnapped, faked my own death, been hospitalized for days...
[ The list goes on, and as it does he points to his index finger first, then the other four. ]
I always show up eventually though, don't I? So, you shouldn't worry... Ah, are you done smoking? I've been told that whiskey goes well with cigarettes, though we'd be doing it backwards...
[ There's a soft laugh, but he doesn't seem all that concerned. ]
[It was different. Dazai was gone. Odasaku knew that he was gone, as certain as a real death. Maybe he should have thought that Dazai's absence was intentional, or that he'd turn up again, but he didn't. He really didn't.
[He turns back toward their cottage. It wasn't meant to be theirs originally, but it's become theirs. Odasaku likes it that way.]
Yeah. Let's have a drink.
[He puts a hand on Dazai's shoulder and squeezes.]
[ But he says it with that sort of boyish grin that suggests that they weren't talking about anything serious at all. Dazai is ever like that, and if he twitches slightly at the squeeze of his shoulder - tensing, puzzling, releasing, he's at least able to pull at Oda's arm next to start dragging him along.
Not renewed, not reborn, not able to live among his fellow man at all, but Dazai can happily pull at him like this; they can have this sort of dynamic. ]
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cw: suicide
[It started feeling different after Odasaku, himself, failed to die.
[He wonders how many times he'd give everything away for the sake of selfish relief. They've been given time - "fortune". He might not have thought he wanted it, only three short months ago.]
What is it? [Odasaku's voice is quiet. He leans down to stub his cigarette out on the ground, then tucks the spent filter back into his pack.]
Tell me.
no subject
There's a slight pause, and whatever he might have originally said is gone, locked away. Instead what he says is, ]
I say that he was looking for "fortune," but it's a bit different. It was something that doesn't exist in any world.
[ As to what that something was, he doesn't seem willing to elaborate any further. ]
... Well, sorry for worrying you. You have to wait at least a couple weeks though, you know? I've let myself get kidnapped, faked my own death, been hospitalized for days...
[ The list goes on, and as it does he points to his index finger first, then the other four. ]
I always show up eventually though, don't I? So, you shouldn't worry... Ah, are you done smoking? I've been told that whiskey goes well with cigarettes, though we'd be doing it backwards...
[ There's a soft laugh, but he doesn't seem all that concerned. ]
hehe lmk if u wanna wrap or if you have more <3
[He turns back toward their cottage. It wasn't meant to be theirs originally, but it's become theirs. Odasaku likes it that way.]
Yeah. Let's have a drink.
[He puts a hand on Dazai's shoulder and squeezes.]
We'll talk a while.
we can wrap here <3
[ But he says it with that sort of boyish grin that suggests that they weren't talking about anything serious at all. Dazai is ever like that, and if he twitches slightly at the squeeze of his shoulder - tensing, puzzling, releasing, he's at least able to pull at Oda's arm next to start dragging him along.
Not renewed, not reborn, not able to live among his fellow man at all, but Dazai can happily pull at him like this; they can have this sort of dynamic. ]
Let's talk about something more interesting.