Anyway, it's a little hard to explain. Basically, I can walk anywhere I please. I don't just mean from place to place.
I could take a step into the air like walking up stairs, then just keep going, high above the city, for as long as I want. Sometimes I walk into the sea and right under the waves until I'm in the deepest part of the ocean. I could walk up the side of a building, or walk into the ground until I reach the other side of the planet.
[ That's right. Odasaku had never wanted to be part of the Port Mafia. Dazai had brought him in for the protection it offered. Even knowing that, his presence felt so natural that irrationally, impossibly, he had thought those days would last forever. That he would always be near.
But maybe if he had lived a little longer, maybe both of them...
He closes that idea, snaps the book holding those what-ifs tight before it can try to write itself. ]
That sounds like a nice dream. I wouldn't mind having one like that.
Do you think we could make it happen here? I don't know about breathing underwater or walking on air, but if world is something that exists separate from reality and is built up on wishes, then there should be more to it than an island. If there's not, then why couldn't it be created?
The fact that it's forbidden makes me want to see it more. I've always hated places with lots of rules. It makes me want to break them.
Besides, this place is boring. It has interesting people, but I'm already bored with the city. It's too small. I need something with a little more spice, so I don't want to stay here forever. But I'm not interested in going back to Yokohama either.
Yeah. I thought about it. There's no need for me to go back.
If people can gain new memories from their world here, that means that "I" still exist there. If by some chance I don't, it won't change anything. There's no longer any stopping the plan that I put in place.
I'm going to evict Atsushi-kun and Akutagawa-kun though. Those two still have a job to do.
[ As is always the case, Dazai has considered the possibilities and come to a logical conclusion. Dostoevsky had surprised him, but that it would not save him.
Though he would stay even if it meant the world would burn, without feeling even a hint of remorse. ]
[Oda can't really argue Dazai's stance. His first point is one that has been proven time and time again to be true - what will happen back in their worlds will happen no matter how long they stay here, and their absences won't be felt at all. As for Dazai's second point, Oda has no reason not to believe that he has put everything in place that he intended to. That's just Dazai. His skills are well-known.
[It's really a win-win situation either way. Why shouldn't Dazai be able to stay here as long as he wants to? Oda's often found himself thinking that the things that happen here aren't entirely out of the realm of what a powerful group of ability users could do. Even the threat level here is relatively similar to that of their home.
[He gets it, is the point.]
You're showing a bit of a double standard there. Almost makes me think you just want to get them out of your hair.
Still, I see what you're saying. Suppose I have no reason to go anywhere else, either.
Why not, then? At least you know you'll have a roommate if you need one.
There's the logical reasons for it, but there's something else that goes unspoken.
Dazai already knows that he'll lose anything that he gains here. He knows that what he has now is nothing more than a candle in the wind; even if he can light it once more, it'll go out once more, and take along with it the light and warmth that it offered. That's why he can endure.
But as they speak of plans, Atsushi has already come and gone once. There will always be that uncertainty now, as long as Akutagawa stays here. ]
I have high expectations for them. Their talent is wasted here, so I have to shove them out the door and lock it behind them.
[ That's the logical reason, too, because they have greater things waiting for them.
But he trusts Oda; Dazai listens to him in a way that he doesn't anyone else, so he asks, ]
Do you think they would be happy here?
Come to think of it, we've been staying together for awhile now, haven't we? I don't mind it.
Atsushi and Akutagawa? I can't say I know enough about them to say whether or not they'd be happy, but...
I think people like us aren't all that badly suited for strange places. We have been staying together for a while now, you're right. I like it too.
I don't really have any other option aside from this place, so maybe my opinion doesn't really matter, but I wouldn't mind seeing what's out there with you if you wanted to stay. Why not?
[Odasaku knows that feeling. There are so many things about that place that hang over him now. Anyone looking in from the outside would think that it ought to be tainted, but that isn't how Odasaku feels. It's why he sought a similar place as soon as he got here. Who doesn't chase the feeling of home?]
I think that's one of the last places I can remember looking forward to too.
I find that I look forward to having a drink with you at Dolph's club too though. It's interesting how that works.
How many little hole-in-the-walls do you think are out there? We could hit every one.
I do too. It's not the same without the bartender. Can you believe that he still doesn't carry hammers or detergent?
I'm starting to think that he's lying about not having any sharp knives.
Every single one? That sounds good. We'll have to find a world map and mark them all down. I heard they have that in some places for breweries. You can do a whole tour of them.
[No hammers or detergent to this day, huh? For whatever reason, it makes Oda feel just a little emotional. He's not quite sure why that would be. Even without Oda there, Dazai continues to return to that special place, and the bartender continues to cater to him. He must have remained a regular. Suppose that just touches Odasaku, somehow.]
That will be our goal, then. I suppose the first step is finding a way to leave Somnius. I wonder if anyone else is concerned with anything other than going home.
I think there are. There are people here who came from difficult situations. There are people who don't have anything worth going back to, if they have a place to go back to at all. They can only make due with what they have.
Then there's BB-san.
It's a community full of misfits.
hehe we can move toward a wrap or keep gabbin <3 up to u
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What is it? Tell me about it.
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Anyway, it's a little hard to explain. Basically, I can walk anywhere I please. I don't just mean from place to place.
I could take a step into the air like walking up stairs, then just keep going, high above the city, for as long as I want. Sometimes I walk into the sea and right under the waves until I'm in the deepest part of the ocean. I could walk up the side of a building, or walk into the ground until I reach the other side of the planet.
I have dreams like that all the time.
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But maybe if he had lived a little longer, maybe both of them...
He closes that idea, snaps the book holding those what-ifs tight before it can try to write itself. ]
That sounds like a nice dream. I wouldn't mind having one like that.
Do you think we could make it happen here? I don't know about breathing underwater or walking on air, but if world is something that exists separate from reality and is built up on wishes, then there should be more to it than an island. If there's not, then why couldn't it be created?
I wouldn't mind going sightseeing with you.
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It's a nice idea. I think I'd like that too.
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Besides, this place is boring. It has interesting people, but I'm already bored with the city. It's too small. I need something with a little more spice, so I don't want to stay here forever. But I'm not interested in going back to Yokohama either.
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You're not going back to Yokohama? You're serious?
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If people can gain new memories from their world here, that means that "I" still exist there. If by some chance I don't, it won't change anything. There's no longer any stopping the plan that I put in place.
I'm going to evict Atsushi-kun and Akutagawa-kun though. Those two still have a job to do.
[ As is always the case, Dazai has considered the possibilities and come to a logical conclusion. Dostoevsky had surprised him, but that it would not save him.
Though he would stay even if it meant the world would burn, without feeling even a hint of remorse. ]
no subject
[It's really a win-win situation either way. Why shouldn't Dazai be able to stay here as long as he wants to? Oda's often found himself thinking that the things that happen here aren't entirely out of the realm of what a powerful group of ability users could do. Even the threat level here is relatively similar to that of their home.
[He gets it, is the point.]
You're showing a bit of a double standard there. Almost makes me think you just want to get them out of your hair.
Still, I see what you're saying. Suppose I have no reason to go anywhere else, either.
Why not, then? At least you know you'll have a roommate if you need one.
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Dazai is always right, after all.
There's the logical reasons for it, but there's something else that goes unspoken.
Dazai already knows that he'll lose anything that he gains here. He knows that what he has now is nothing more than a candle in the wind; even if he can light it once more, it'll go out once more, and take along with it the light and warmth that it offered. That's why he can endure.
But as they speak of plans, Atsushi has already come and gone once. There will always be that uncertainty now, as long as Akutagawa stays here. ]
I have high expectations for them. Their talent is wasted here, so I have to shove them out the door and lock it behind them.
[ That's the logical reason, too, because they have greater things waiting for them.
But he trusts Oda; Dazai listens to him in a way that he doesn't anyone else, so he asks, ]
Do you think they would be happy here?
Come to think of it, we've been staying together for awhile now, haven't we? I don't mind it.
sighs. this is a marriage proposal I fear
I think people like us aren't all that badly suited for strange places. We have been staying together for a while now, you're right. I like it too.
I don't really have any other option aside from this place, so maybe my opinion doesn't really matter, but I wouldn't mind seeing what's out there with you if you wanted to stay. Why not?
i can't believe they're already getting married
As long as you're here, I will be too... I wonder when the last time I found myself looking forward to going somewhere was?
Let's see it must have been that you-are-a-fool-if-you-don’t-go-before-you-die place.
[ That place, which had turned out to be nothing more than a hole-in-the-wall bar, that is still the only place in Yokohama that feels like home. ]
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I think that's one of the last places I can remember looking forward to too.
I find that I look forward to having a drink with you at Dolph's club too though. It's interesting how that works.
How many little hole-in-the-walls do you think are out there? We could hit every one.
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I'm starting to think that he's lying about not having any sharp knives.
Every single one? That sounds good. We'll have to find a world map and mark them all down. I heard they have that in some places for breweries. You can do a whole tour of them.
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That will be our goal, then. I suppose the first step is finding a way to leave Somnius. I wonder if anyone else is concerned with anything other than going home.
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Then there's BB-san.
It's a community full of misfits.
hehe we can move toward a wrap or keep gabbin <3 up to u
In that case, we should come to a conclusion even faster. If there's a world to see out there, maybe we'll really find it.
we can move toward a wrap!!
She does use a lot of jargon, but I'm sure you'll get used to her way of speaking.
We will, don't worry.
Are you tired yet?
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Goodnight, Odasaku.
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Goodnight, Dazai.