[ Today he does. Dazai is like that. He's like a burnt black cat, acting in strange ways that no one can quite understand. Today he likes this better, because it means he can face Odasaku directly, he can watch for those subtle shifts in expression and body language. ]
It is. Eight-hundred, eighty, eight.
[ Though he doesn't remember why he made that decision. It seemed important at the time, in that same way that other fleeting thoughts and emotion come and go. Still, four years is a long time, and it didn't occur to him until now how much has changed in just three months; more than in the two years that Dazai knew him. It's like suddenly seeing someone in different lighting, the way their features stand out, the colors they wear, how much older they've gotten.
Dazai is exactly the same as when he came here, and that is why he can sync up so easily with thoughts and emotions that sometimes seem out of place. Four years changed him, but not enough. He still makes the same "jokes" that he wants to die, he still wanted to die, but Odasaku doesn't humor him in the same way anymore.He's not blind or deaf, and least of all dumb, so he can tell when it's bothering him; isn't sure what to do with that.
Dazai can only be who he is, and people who are unable to accept it inevitably remove themselves from his life. So, he's the same as ever. His heart is ever the same, unwavering, and their friendship seems like the one consistent thing; but it bothers him to have his disappearance noted, and it bothers him that there's no longer anyone who will humor and brush off how close he is to death at any given time.
If he was being boiled, then this might be like suddenly been tossed from a pot to a bowl of ice water.
But he just chuckles, shaking his head a little, because he can appreciate their negotiations. ]
You seem happy... You really were tired of being treated like an errand boy, huh?
[ "Happy" is the word he chooses, though it's not quite accurate. But better. More normal. ]
I've thought about leaving, but I'm just sick of seeing Chuuya's face,
[ He wrinkles his nose, as though he'd just tasted something unpleasant, ]
And Mori-san lied about giving me a medicine that would give me a painless death.
cw: death talk
It is. Eight-hundred, eighty, eight.
[ Though he doesn't remember why he made that decision. It seemed important at the time, in that same way that other fleeting thoughts and emotion come and go. Still, four years is a long time, and it didn't occur to him until now how much has changed in just three months; more than in the two years that Dazai knew him. It's like suddenly seeing someone in different lighting, the way their features stand out, the colors they wear, how much older they've gotten.
Dazai is exactly the same as when he came here, and that is why he can sync up so easily with thoughts and emotions that sometimes seem out of place. Four years changed him, but not enough. He still makes the same "jokes" that he wants to die, he still wanted to die, but Odasaku doesn't humor him in the same way anymore.He's not blind or deaf, and least of all dumb, so he can tell when it's bothering him; isn't sure what to do with that.
Dazai can only be who he is, and people who are unable to accept it inevitably remove themselves from his life. So, he's the same as ever. His heart is ever the same, unwavering, and their friendship seems like the one consistent thing; but it bothers him to have his disappearance noted, and it bothers him that there's no longer anyone who will humor and brush off how close he is to death at any given time.
If he was being boiled, then this might be like suddenly been tossed from a pot to a bowl of ice water.
But he just chuckles, shaking his head a little, because he can appreciate their negotiations. ]
You seem happy... You really were tired of being treated like an errand boy, huh?
[ "Happy" is the word he chooses, though it's not quite accurate. But better. More normal. ]
I've thought about leaving, but I'm just sick of seeing Chuuya's face,
[ He wrinkles his nose, as though he'd just tasted something unpleasant, ]
And Mori-san lied about giving me a medicine that would give me a painless death.