proposed: all mine or comm'd, please do not take any! (pic♯17344299)
osamu "burnt black cat" dazai ([personal profile] proposed) wrote in [personal profile] savetheweak 2025-01-09 07:45 am (UTC)

the closet is glass

I don't mind this bar.

[ Nothing is the same. The truth is, Dazai really does hate being here. He was meant to constantly be close to death, and he was meant to make plans that he would see through to fruition. He was meant for anything but this peaceful yet chaotic life.

Dazai traces his finger along the rim of the glass. ]


... Odasaku. Do you really believe that I bear no responsibility for what happened to you?

[ It seems unrelated, but it's not, because everything stems from a singular moment. It's all due to a preventable tragedy. It's a sore point for him, too, something that he's kept locked up tight, and even now takes care in how he approaches.

It's not really asking if Odasaku blames him. It's something else, some nagging feeling that always accompanies these conversations, something that leads him to search the other's face for any sign of disapproval now. It's something else. It's that awareness that everything is different and everything has broken, and some instinctive fear that what they're talking about will never come, and it's...

Dazai doesn't know what he would do if Odasaku were to start to hate him. ]

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