Hmm... Though wouldn't you say that what he did is also a form of suicide? He killed himself, and he killed his father for the second time.
[ Everything always loops back to that, but there is a gravity to those words, something dark that doesn't quite sync up, like he's suddenly displeased with his own conclusions.
He doesn't entirely mind it. If he didn't like the outcome, Dazai would have no qualms about killing the person that he was; everything about them, every last part of their existence, every single remainder that another person might find, subsume it, replace it, but it's only himself that he wants to die. It's only that future self, who should be replaced.
That story could be about him, but it's not, because sometimes pain is a precious and treasured thing too. It's a poison that he thinks he might willingly swallow down and refuse the antidote if only it served some purpose.
Those are feelings he's had often here, ones which are a natural extension of who he is, so he can't entirely ignore them as he can so many others.
Still, whatever complicated feelings might lay beneath that statement are quickly lost, locked away as his expression warms, his smile reappearing. Dazai is ever oblivious to his own feelings, but that shift in Odasaku doesn't go unnoticed. ]
... Well! That has nothing to do with you or I though, Odasaku, since we're both still alive. Isn't it nice? It needs some adjustments, but we have our very own fountain of youth! We have "Fortune" at our fingertips!
[ He does laugh now. That is lucky, isn't it? Though this seems to be more like a rubberband. He'll snap back into place eventually. ]
cw: suicidal ideation
[ Everything always loops back to that, but there is a gravity to those words, something dark that doesn't quite sync up, like he's suddenly displeased with his own conclusions.
He doesn't entirely mind it. If he didn't like the outcome, Dazai would have no qualms about killing the person that he was; everything about them, every last part of their existence, every single remainder that another person might find, subsume it, replace it, but it's only himself that he wants to die. It's only that future self, who should be replaced.
That story could be about him, but it's not, because sometimes pain is a precious and treasured thing too. It's a poison that he thinks he might willingly swallow down and refuse the antidote if only it served some purpose.
Those are feelings he's had often here, ones which are a natural extension of who he is, so he can't entirely ignore them as he can so many others.
Still, whatever complicated feelings might lay beneath that statement are quickly lost, locked away as his expression warms, his smile reappearing. Dazai is ever oblivious to his own feelings, but that shift in Odasaku doesn't go unnoticed. ]
... Well! That has nothing to do with you or I though, Odasaku, since we're both still alive. Isn't it nice? It needs some adjustments, but we have our very own fountain of youth! We have "Fortune" at our fingertips!
[ He does laugh now. That is lucky, isn't it? Though this seems to be more like a rubberband. He'll snap back into place eventually. ]
Hey, Odasaku, do you know what else I think?