[ Softly, affectionately, because those feelings are still there. Not four years of yearning, but three months, a seamless transition that isn't quite at odds with what he knows. It's more intense, for that longing only increased with the years, but rather than something disconcerting, that affection is as a warm fireplace on a cold winter's day - he's inched closer to it with a blanket tucked around him, embracing its glow.
Whatever emotions may have weighed him down, those days that Odasaku refers to, those that he remembers, were never anything more than a soft comfort. But he doesn't need any memories to know that they always would be - rather, it's only his lack of thought on the future that had prevented him from noting them as such.
The rest is a little more complicated, and he feels at the fabric of Odasaku's shirt, feeling it out with his fingers and gripping and releasing it. It's not that he doesn't know, but rather, that it's difficult to explain. His hands rest by his side, that one raised arm having fallen back. ]
This is a place founded on wishes, so at least one person must have wished for it, [ One or both of them, ] For things to return to how they once were... But even if you thought, "I want to erase this pain," you wouldn't want to erase the happy memories that came after... Right? It's something like that.
[ And what of those four years between, then...? Were they happy? Were they sad? No one can say now. But those brown eyes are fixed on him, clear-eyed, intense, staring directly at him without the least bit of judgment, but perhaps the slightest curiosity - had it been one? Both?
Ah, he really does hate that look on his face. He hates it. It doesn't suit him at all. It makes Dazai's knees feels wobbly and his eyes burn, and he really does think that life would be easier if only he could gouge them out. If it would make it better, Dazai might drink bleach to get away from it, but he knows it won't, and so his countenance is ever unchanging aside from that slight twitch of his fingers as they curl by his side, that faint tension that comes and goes. ]
... I remember my time here with you, because I didn't want to forget it. I remember my time with others, because I wouldn't wish to forget them now. [ Dazai takes a step forward to close the gap between them that little bit more, leaning forward just a bit with that beguiling smile, ] I'm sure the rest will come back later, [ Whether or not they want it to, ] but for now this is enough, isn't it? Because that promise meant... That I wouldn't forget our time spent here either.
[ That much was certainly a wish that they'd made together.
Dazai can say all of this because he's the more logical of the two. He's already pieced much of it together, to the point where the rest is momentarily lost to the sea of emotion. Enough that he can, just for this instant, forget his death. ]
I remember what's important.
[ Odasaku, always Odasaku, but he remembers others too... Maruki and BB, Sunmori, Akechi, and others too. There's people here. He remembers them. People he doesn't know well but was inching toward - so many, so many... So many more than he could have imagined in their world.
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[ Softly, affectionately, because those feelings are still there. Not four years of yearning, but three months, a seamless transition that isn't quite at odds with what he knows. It's more intense, for that longing only increased with the years, but rather than something disconcerting, that affection is as a warm fireplace on a cold winter's day - he's inched closer to it with a blanket tucked around him, embracing its glow.
Whatever emotions may have weighed him down, those days that Odasaku refers to, those that he remembers, were never anything more than a soft comfort. But he doesn't need any memories to know that they always would be - rather, it's only his lack of thought on the future that had prevented him from noting them as such.
The rest is a little more complicated, and he feels at the fabric of Odasaku's shirt, feeling it out with his fingers and gripping and releasing it. It's not that he doesn't know, but rather, that it's difficult to explain. His hands rest by his side, that one raised arm having fallen back. ]
This is a place founded on wishes, so at least one person must have wished for it, [ One or both of them, ] For things to return to how they once were... But even if you thought, "I want to erase this pain," you wouldn't want to erase the happy memories that came after... Right? It's something like that.
[ And what of those four years between, then...? Were they happy? Were they sad? No one can say now. But those brown eyes are fixed on him, clear-eyed, intense, staring directly at him without the least bit of judgment, but perhaps the slightest curiosity - had it been one? Both?
Ah, he really does hate that look on his face. He hates it. It doesn't suit him at all. It makes Dazai's knees feels wobbly and his eyes burn, and he really does think that life would be easier if only he could gouge them out. If it would make it better, Dazai might drink bleach to get away from it, but he knows it won't, and so his countenance is ever unchanging aside from that slight twitch of his fingers as they curl by his side, that faint tension that comes and goes. ]
... I remember my time here with you, because I didn't want to forget it. I remember my time with others, because I wouldn't wish to forget them now. [ Dazai takes a step forward to close the gap between them that little bit more, leaning forward just a bit with that beguiling smile, ] I'm sure the rest will come back later, [ Whether or not they want it to, ] but for now this is enough, isn't it? Because that promise meant... That I wouldn't forget our time spent here either.
[ That much was certainly a wish that they'd made together.
Dazai can say all of this because he's the more logical of the two. He's already pieced much of it together, to the point where the rest is momentarily lost to the sea of emotion. Enough that he can, just for this instant, forget his death. ]
I remember what's important.
[ Odasaku, always Odasaku, but he remembers others too... Maruki and BB, Sunmori, Akechi, and others too. There's people here. He remembers them. People he doesn't know well but was inching toward - so many, so many... So many more than he could have imagined in their world.
What an odd feeling ]